Monday, January 11, 2010

Another Drink for Geno

No doubt any Penguins fans reading this have already read today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette column by Ron Cook. He compared Evgeni Malkin to Jaromir Jagr, and not in a good way. Apparently if a 23-year-old living in a foreign country turns to his support system and kicks his own ass when he's underperforming, he's got massive personality disorders and is an albatross around his team's collective neck. I don't know what Ron Cook was like when he was 23, but I was a mess then, and so were all my friends. Which reminds me--one day I'll tell y'all why I don't often work with or drink tequila. ;-)

Even though Geno doesn't have to decide which bills he'll pay this month or eat ramen five days a week like I did, he's still human, and Cook's column is, to say the least, remarkably unhelpful. Don't get me wrong--Malkin can do better. He should do better. But I have faith that he will do better. And so, I post a second cocktail recipe in honor of him. I have no delusions that anyone associated with the Penguins will ever read this, and more knowledgeable fans like Hooks Orpik at Pensburgh have already given Cook the takedown he deserves, but I just kinda feel like chiming in.

I remember reading that Geno likes sangria and therefore isn't one of those guys who thinks a sweet cocktail will interfere with his testosterone production. So, something sweet and fruit-flavored, with good Russian vodka, seems appropriate. Like Keri Russell's character in the great little movie Waitress, I name my recipes based on my state of mind at the moment, when I bother to name them at all. So, I give my fellow and sister Pens fans:

Fuck Off, Ron Cook

1 1/2 ounces Stolichnaya Gala Applik vodka
1/2 ounce Goldschlager cinnamon schnapps
1 or 2 ounces apple cider (sweet/nonalcoholic)

Shake all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with a handful of ice. Strain into a martini glass. If you really want to be fancy about it, rim the glass with cinnamon sugar first. But hey, tonight's game night, and if you don't want to bother cleaning up after that, this martini's good enough that it doesn't need to be messed with too much...kinda like Geno.


  1. I don't think you should strain it from the shaker. I think you just grab the shaker and chug. It's the sort of drink where you take no regard for style (much like Cook) and just down it with the anger you have geared toward him. Then perhaps slam it down and let out a guttural roar or scream of sorts.

  2. Thanks for the correction, Frank. That would make much more sense!