First Taste of Hockey

I haven't done much here at Cocktails with the Penguins, or my personal blog either, this summer. I've been busy, and Twitter has absorbed most of my words. Also, it's been one hell of a depressing offseason. But we have hockey tonight! Pittsburgh Penguins hockey! It may only be preseason, but it's against the Detroit Red Wings and looks to be lots of fun. (My wife and I have bet our earlobes, and I sincerely hope I'm not wearing her itchy, ugly Winged Wheel earrings to work tomorrow.)

I came up with a drink involving late summer/early autumn fruit that tastes as good as preseason hockey feels. Get out the blender!

First Taste of Hockey

Half a black or red plum
4 ounces peach cider
2 ounces bourbon
Dash of ginger
Dash of vanilla
Cup of ice

Peel and seed the plum half. (Eat the other, or do whatever else you want with it.) Puree it with half of the peach cider and half of the bourbon. When that's smooth, add in the ice, ginger, vanilla, rest of the cider, and rest of the bourbon. Blend together. Pour into a tumbler, enjoy the game, and hope that absolutely no Penguins get hurt!

Sidney's Superstition

As Penguins fans, we hated the 2011 Winter Classic, but loved HBO's 24/7 series. One of the better parts addressed Sidney Crosby's many superstitions, including his 5 pm peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I wanted to do this drink in his honor, and then his season ended in early January. But, his doctor's cleared him for his usual summer workout routine. This made me pathetically happy after that depressing 2010-11 season. So, celebrate the fact that we (knock on wood!) have Crosby on his way back to us with this shooter. He can't have it at 5 pm on game day, but that shouldn't stop you this fall. It's better than putting on a nasty old cup, anyway.

Sidney's Superstition

1 ounce Castries peanut liqueur
1 ounce strawberry vodka

Shake ingredients together in a cocktail shaker with a handful of ice until well-blended. Serve in a shot glass immediately. Recipe can easily be multiplied for a group.

NOTE ON INGREDIENTS: I don't specifically endorse Castries, and I'm certainly not getting paid by any liquor company. I simply don't know any other peanut liqueur. (My first "peanut butter and jelly"-ish shooter was actually made with Frangelico.) This one's very creamy, intense, and rum-based.

Adios Motherfucker, Redux

I'd love to be welcoming Sidney Crosby back with a peanut-butter-and-jelly shooter, but that's most likely not going to happen. We don't get Matt Cooke back unless the Penguins go to the second round, and Evgeni Malkin is still on the mend. So. Our boys need to use the forces they have. We've seen them do it for months now, to much better effect than they have the past two games.

I've posted this classic drink recipe before, but it's even more appropriate now that the Tampa Bay Lightning forced a Game 7 in the quarterfinals. Birds of the Burgh suggested on Twitter last night that I make a drink for a team facing elimination and make it strong. Nothing else seems more right than this.

While you're making this Wednesday evening, one of my favorite fight songs: "Comanche", by the Revels.

Adios Motherfucker

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz light rum
1/2 oz silver tequila
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz blue curacao liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
2 oz lemon-lime soda

Pour all the ingredients except for the lemon-lime soda into a chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Float soda on top. Stir gently.

Let's grind these bitches down!

Arron Appreciation

When Arron Asham first came to the Pittsburgh Penguins from the Philadelphia Flyers, I was among the skeptics. I joked about how Asham would have to "wash the Flyers stink off with tomato juice," as one does when they're sprayed by a skunk.

When Asham scored his second goal of the playoffs against the Tampa Bay Lightning last night, it occured to me that he deserved a drink. This is a variation on the Highland Mary or Mary, Queen of Scots, which uses Scotch instead of vodka. I don't like Bloody Marys of any description, but after all, Asham needs that tomato juice. I also don't eat meat. That said, it can't all be citrus, spice, and everything nice here at Cocktails with the Penguins, and a friend of mine really liked this, so some of you may, too.

Arron Appreciation

1 1/2 ounces Scotch
1/2 cup tomato juice
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 dashes Tabasco Chipotle sauce
dash Worcestershire sauce
2 regular-size pieces Slim Jim or similar beef jerky

Combine all liquid ingredients in a shaker with a handful of ice. Snap one of the jerky pieces in half, and add that to the shaker to flavor the drink. Shake until blended. Strain into a tall glass half-filled with ice. Use the other piece of jerky as a garnish/swizzle stick.

Ingredient note: The flavors in here are so rich, there's no need to waste a truly great Scotch on this. Go ahead and use the cheap stuff.

The Pittsburgh Penguin

Recipes for cocktails called the Detroit Red Wing and Dallas Star exist. I believe I invented something that can fairly be called the San Jose Shark a couple weeks ago. (Like other people, I got inspired by the teal color of their uniforms. I won't post it until later, if at all.) When I decided to share the San Jose Shark on Twitter, I felt kinda bad that I'd never gotten around to creating something worth calling the Pittsburgh Penguin.

Then I found out about a Kahlua cocktail called a Panda Bear. I love pandas. I love all black and white animals. I'm not ashamed to admit that this is why the Penguins logo initially caught my attention. I liked the concept of the dark Kahlua with something creamy, but hate milk in a cocktail. I also got inspired by the Dallas Star to use Goldschlager, as Vegas Gold is part of the team's colors.

I enjoyed the hell out of it last night, though the Penguins weren't on. I like almost every cocktail I improvise. They're like children--I value each one because I made them and it cost a bomb to bring them into this world. (I don't use cheap liquor.) So I did a quick Twitterpoll. My tweeps' response confirmed that I was on to something.

So, finally, *the* Pittsburgh Penguin cocktail!

Pittsburgh Penguin

1 1/2 ounce Kahlua
1 ounce cream of coconut
1 ounce Goldschlager
crushed ice

Shake all liquid ingredients in a shaker. Fill an old-fashioned glass about two-thirds of the way with crushed ice. Pour the liquid over the ice.

Should any Penguins fan have a different idea of what would fit, or know of a drink called the Pittsburgh Penguin that existed before this one, I'm listening.

Note on ingredients: I am not compensated by any company, and do not endorse any brand. I use brand names here only because I don't know any substitutes for the types of liquor used.

Real Deal Neal

I missed an opportunity to name a drink after James Neal when he scored his first goal as a Pittsburgh Penguin, and this one's amazing, so I'm making up for it.

Detroit Red Wings games are always super-stressful for me, because I'm married to a Red Wings fan. Since we're both women, we traditionally bet that the one whose team loses will wear the other's NHL team earrings to work the next day. I was happily visualizing the Penguins earrings in her lobes when the Penguins proceeded to piss away a 4-0 lead (or the Wings came back, or both). The Wings tied it, and the game went to shootout. Of...course!

Joey McDonald had done a terrific job for the Wings after Jimmy Howard was chased out of the net. But it wasn't quite enough. James Neal, after lots of good tries throughout the game, scored the one and only shootout goal. That was all the Penguins needed, really. And so, in gratitude to Neal for keeping those ugly, itchy Winged Wheels out of my earlobes, I offer this. I'm still in love with variations on the caipirinha, and I'm surprised at myself for not thinking to combine two of my favorite flavors sooner. Maybe this can help you forget controversies involving elbow-happy wingers for a moment.

Real Deal Neal

2 ounces vanilla-flavored vodka
1 small lime or half a large lime, cut into wedges
1 teaspoon sugar

Muddle the lime and sugar in an old-fashioned glass (a wooden spoon or piece of sugar cane is best). Fill the glass with ice, crushed if possible. Pour vanilla vodka over it. Stir, then sip.

Justin Deffrey

Yes, I know that the Pittsburgh Penguins' *former* AHL call-up, who was recently given the chance at the full-time NHL role he deserves, is named Dustin Jeffrey. But fans and announcers alike sometimes get confused and want to call him "Justin." It really happens after a drink or three.

Jeffrey's two goals last night, one in the first period and the game-winning goal in overtime, were sweet by any name. The Penguins have still gone over a month without winning in regulation, but in the past couple of weeks, it seemed like they were getting either one pity point or nothing. The team and the fans needed a win badly, and Jeffrey delivered. He and Jordan Staal snapped the Boston Bruins' seven-game winning streak.

I decided to toss together random ingredients during the second intermission because I was craving something tiki-ish and I didn't want to walk the streets of Brooklyn on Saturday night. I always have dark rum and cherry liqueur in my kitchen, and I like cream of coconut more than is good for me. You'll probably have a hard time with anyone's name after this.

Justin Deffrey

2 ounces dark rum
2 ounces cream of coconut
1 ounce cherry liqueur
1 ounce pineapple juice
dash allspice

Pour all ingredients in cocktail shaker with a handful of ice. Shake for about 30 seconds. Pour the resulting drink into a hurricane glass mostly filled with ice, preferably crushed.

Sweet Whiskey Nisky

I haven't been inspired for a while, partly because I was busy and partly because of the rash of injuries that hit the Penguins this winter. But I'm optimistic about the new guys. One of them, Matt Niskanen, was best known earlier this season as that dude on the Dallas Stars who got his ass handed to him by Sidney Crosby. That will change soon. Niskanen scored his first goal with the Penguins last night and assisted Chris Conner out of his 17-game goal-less streak. While it wasn't enough to beat the Toronto Maple Leafs, his effort was definitely welcome, as was the one pity point.

A Penguins fan on Twitter (I forget who) tweeted "Sweet whiskey Nisky!" in response to his goal. I got inspired. I had a bit of limoncello that I just hadn't felt like using in my kitchen, so I used that. I love the combination of lemon and honey. I ended up with this while trying to avoid Mike Milbury on Versus during first intermission. This took the edge off when I realized I actually agreed with him that Antti Niemi deserved that nice new contract with the San Jose Sharks.

Sweet Whiskey Nisky

1 1/2 ounces whiskey
1 ounce limoncello
1 teaspoon honey
handful of ice

Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker. Shake like crazy. Pour into a glass, ice and all. Good for sipping.

Reverend Lovejoy

Ben Lovejoy, a rookie defenseman who's familiar to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton fans, had himself an interesting game against the Florida Panthers last night. He got into his first NHL fight, scored his first NHL goal, and received his first NHL stitches after inadvertently blocking a shot with his face. The 5-2 win might have happened without him, but it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun. That deserves some recognition.

I was in love with variations on the caipirinha, the national cocktail of Brazil, last season. It's fruit crushed with cachuaca or clear rum, basically. But recently, I wanted to try something a bit different. No fruit, just spices. It doesn't look pretty, but it came out awesome.

Reverend Lovejoy

2 1/2 ounces cachuaca or white rum
1/2 inch of peeled, fresh ginger root, cut into slices
1 cinnamon stick, broken in half
2 teaspoons sugar
crushed ice

After you prepare the ginger root and cinnamon stick, place at the bottom of a wide-mouthed glass. Add sugar. Pour in cachuaca or rum. Muddle spices. (A wooden spoon works best for this.) When the spices are blended in, fill the glass with crushed ice.

Letestu Limeade

Yes, yes, we all know Sidney Crosby is brilliant and blossoming into the hockey god potential people have known he had since he was a kid. The write-ups of last night's game included his name in the headlines. The 11-game win streak wouldn't have happened without his amazing 17-game point streak.

But, you know, Mark Letestu also scored two goals against the Toronto Maple Leafs last night. Along with Chris Conner, he's the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton call-up who I want to have a permanent place on the roster. He's worked hard on a small yet very feisty line with Conner and Tyler Kennedy.

I chose to name this after him because the alliteration was just plain irresistable. I loved Captain Morgan Lime Bite since I tried it this summer. Essentially, this is a spiked Sonic limeade, so if you live by a Sonic, you can just buy one and stir Lime Bite into it. But this is easy.

Letestu Limeade

1 can (12 ounces) lemon-lime soda
Half of a lime
2 1/2 ounces Captain Morgan Lime Bite
crushed ice

Fill a large tumbler halfway with crushed ice. Squeeze the lime over the ice, taking care not to let too many seeds get into the glass. (Pulp's fine.) Pour in the Lime Bite, then the lemon-lime soda. Stir gently.

Go-Go Mojo

The Pittsburgh Penguins finally won their first game at the Consol Energy Center last night!

Really, that's the important thing. Alex Goligoski's game-winning goal in overtime broke the Consol Curse, *and* he did it in the cursed blue uniform! On the power play, even! That's some powerful mojo on Goligoski's part right there. Of course, the reason last night's game against the New York Islanders was tied in the first place is because the referees screwed up. They called a clean shoulder-to-shoulder hit by Kris Letang on Blake Comeau (who has a future in Hollywood) an illegal head shot, giving Letang a major and a game misconduct. Since the Islanders actually aim for the net when they have a power play, they scored two goals fairly quickly. Comeau "healed" enough to assist on the second. I'm hoping the referee's smart enough to feel incredibly stupid today.

Last night, I made Mexican-style hot chocolate. This is the kind with the solid bars, not the powdered mixes. I added espresso-flavored vodka. When the Penguins couldn't seal the deal in the 6 minutes of power play Nino Niederreiter handed them, I added a bit more! I made the chocolate super-thick because the vodka thinned it out a bit. This isn't going to be an every-game thing for me simply because it's very rich and I don't want my super-loose jersey to fit perfectly again, but it's good for one night.

The measurements are weird for a reason. I want to stress that this will make 2 servings. A tablet of Mexican chocolate usually makes 4. I mixed in 2 ounces espresso-flavored vodka, but as I said, I added more a bit more and ended up with 3 ounces. My wife doesn't drink; she combined her hot chocolate with coffee and liked that lots.

Go-Go Mojo

1/2 tablet Mexican-style chocolate
2 cups milk
1 or 2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
dash cayenne pepper
3 ounces espresso-flavored vodka per mug of hot chocolate

Heat 2 cups milk and 1/2 tablet chocolate in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat. Keep mixing with a wire whisk until mixture is frothy and starts to boil. Remove from heat; add sugar and spices. Pour into 2 mugs. Let it cool just a little, then stir 3 ounces espresso-flavored vodka into each mug.

Think of Engelland

The Penguins have had 4 regular-season games so far, but I haven't really felt like celebrating any team member's accomplishments. The fact that only one game has resulted in a win--against the badly mismanaged New Jersey Devils--is part of it. We're experiencing an early season Injuryfest again, with Staal, Orpik, Michalek, and Asham out. Frankly, I've been seeing a lot of lackluster play. The first few minutes of last night's game against the Toronto Maple Leafs (3-4 Penguins) pissed me off. Should've been watching the last miners come out of the Chilean mine anyway...

That doesn't mean there weren't a few enjoyable moments. The best by far was this fight between AHL call-up Deryk Engelland and the Leafs' goon Colton Orr. Orr got knocked the hell out, and that doesn't happen very often!

orpikEYES, a fan of the Penguins (duh) and cocktails, suggested naming a blood orange mimosa after Eric Godard, who's usually our designated goon. But I've already named this wasabi-spiced Bloody Mary after him. So, since Engelland took Godard's role by fighting Orr, he gets this named after him instead. It's simple but effective, like the Penguins' power play should be. Brunch is served, bitches!

Think of Engelland

Blood orange
Champagne

Slice blood orange in half. Squeeze the juice from it, using whichever method is available to you. Strain out any seeds or pulp.

Pour champagne into a flute, filling it about halfway. Fill glass the rest of the way with blood orange juice, and stir gently.

Note on ingredients: Don't waste really expensive champagne on this. Also, if you don't want to squeeze an orange or can't find one, 2 ounces of bottled blood orange juice will work.

Big Taste Sangria

I promised simple recipes that can be assembled right before the game or during intermission here. Sangria is simple, but you can't make just one serving and, if you really want it to be good, it needs to chill in the refrigerator overnight. But you have time before the Penguins' season officially starts on October 7. This is enough to give 6-8 people a glass, so it's good if you're having people over to watch the game or were asked to bring something to someone else's house.

Evgeni Malkin not only scored a goal in September 25's pre-season game against the Columbus Blue Jackets, he proved that Russians can too fight by beating the hell out of Rick Nash. He stated that he liked sangria in an interview during the summer of 2009, and so I named this sangria after his description of the champagne he drank from the Stanley Cup. Sangria almost always has "big taste."

I made this last week using fall fruits--figs, pears, plums. Tempranillo is a Spanish red wine. It's usually inexpensive. Any Spanish red will do; if you can't find that, shiraz will work. Sangria's a great way to salvage cheap wine, so don't go wasting an expensive bottle on this if you try it. Also, maybe you'll want to wear the black jersey on opening night.

Big Taste Sangria

1 bottle Tempranillo or other Spanish red wine
2 shots apricot brandy
2 Tbsp sugar
1 plum, well-washed (not peeled) and quartered
1 small-to-medium pear, well-washed (not peeled) and quartered
2-3 ripe figs, peeled and cut in half
Half a lemon, sliced
2 cups ginger ale

Get a large pitcher. Give the wedges of plums and figs you've prepared a squeeze into the pitcher, then put them in. Put in the pear quarters. Squeeze the lemon slices over the other fruit, then put them in. (The lemon will keep the pears and plums from turning brown.)

Pour the entire bottle of wine over the fruit. Add the brandy and sugar, then stir well. Chill overnight. Stir again and add the ginger ale just before serving.

Hockey's Back!

Today, on the whole, has been a bad day. (I won't go into it; you've had yours, too.) We'll have bad days between now and Spring 2011. But now, we'll also have hockey on TV most nights to distract us! This automatically makes them a whole lot better than bad summer weekdays.

Okay, it's not the start of the season yet. As Penguins fans, we wait for October 7 with baited breath. But pre-season's just fine for now. We'll enjoy these games and see what the newcomers do and hope against hope that our favorite players aren't injured by the time the games that count roll around.

Since I'm married to a Red Wings fan, tomorrow's pre-season opener is particularly special in my household. It's special even though we can only listen to it on internet radio. We'll kiss on every Penguins or Red Wings goal, as per cherished tradition, which means we get to kiss on every goal tomorrow night! I hope all the goalies are sieves and the Wings' goalies are just a little leakier. Oooossss-goooood...

I've decided I needed to do a few things with the blog this season. I'm still finding a new layout I like. I decided that I will never again use my blog as part of a pride-bet with my wife, her best friend, or any other Red Wings fan. Last year, I talked myself into having to turn this blog red and white for 24 hours, including this disgusting and hastily-assembled logo:



*shudders* Never, ever again. I also had a real thing for using cinnamon schnapps in warm cocktails last year. I figured that I need to diversify my repertoire as we get into winter. I made this last night. There isn't a drop of schnapps, cinnamon or otherwise, in it. Depending on where you live, the weather may be cool enough to make you want to try it tomorrow night. If it isn't, it'll get that way soon, and isn't that awesome?

Hockey's Back!

1 bag licorice tea (I used Stash Tea's Licorice Spice)
2 ounces Pernod
1 ounce vanilla vodka
1 teaspoon sugar or Splenda

Brew the licorice tea in a mug half-filled with hot water for a few minutes. While that's brewing, combine Pernod and vanilla vodka, either by stirring in another small glass or shaking. When the tea is brewed, remove the bag and stir in sweetener, then Pernod and vodka. Sip slowly while it's warm.

Driver 14

"Stupid risks are what make life worth living."--Homer Simpson

Yes, this is still a hockey blog. But it's also still off-season. Many hockey fans coped with summer by turning to baseball (not fun for Pittsburgh sports fans). Some enjoyed the World Cup. Some are thrilled that football's back. And then there are a few of us who like NASCAR, meaning that we always get to watch at least one sport we enjoy.

I was a NASCAR fan first--took me a couple of years to stop referring to a hard check into the boards as "putting him into the wall"--and the love of my sports-watching life is Tony Stewart. Yesterday he had one of the strongest cars at the Loudon, New Hampshire race track. He came painfully close to winning, but he and his crew had taken a gamble on fuel, and he ran out on lap 298. Unfortunately, it was a 300-lap race, and stupid Clint Bowyer won it. Stewart came in 26th at 5 mph on fumes. Of the 12 drivers eligible to win the Sprint Cup championship this year, Stewart starts the Chase for the Championship, a/k/a "playoffs", in 11th place. Y'all better believe I cried.

I like many of the same things about the Penguins and Tony Stewart. Stewart thrives on adversity, even if he has to make it himself. His face is easier to read than the Cat in the Hat, a quality I also love about Sidney Crosby. He's quirky and funny. He'll piss me off, break my heart in three places, make me shake my head, but never, ever bore me. And then there are those lovely occasions when he cuts the bullshit, summons up his abundance of natural talent, and wins big. That makes days like yesterday worth it.

How boring would it be to watch a driver, player, or team who didn't make you sick occasionally? If you don't want your emotions taken from the mountaintop to the ocean floor and back, don't watch Tony Stewart or the Penguins. Don't watch racing or hockey, for that matter. Try Dancing with the Stars or some lame nonsense like that instead.

Oh, yes, and there's a recipe. This is what I've been drinking most weekends this summer. Who else would I name it after?

Driver 14

About 5-6 ounces cherry soda (Boylan's, Cheerwine, and Dr. Brown's are good)
2 ounces Captain Morgan Lime Bite
Lime wedge
Crushed ice

Half-fill a large tumbler with crushed ice. Pour in the rum, then the soda. Stir gently. Squeeze juice from lime wedge into drink.

Next post is about pre-season hockey--hell yeah!!!!

Housecleaning

Hockey's coming back! The Penguins are coming back! No, really! So I decided to organize my blog a little bit better, update my links list, and finally make my logo grammatically correct. If you think I should link to your blog or someone else's, please let me know.

The roster's not completely set yet, but there will be some changes. We say goodbye to several players, with varying degrees of enthusiasm: Mark Eaton, Sergei Gonchar, Bill Guerin (okay, I keened over him for a day on my Twitter account, don't judge me), Jordan Leopold, and Alexei Ponikarovsky. The drinks I named after them are under the "past Penguins" tag.

We say hello to Arron Asham (several tomato juice baths and a Little Tree around his neck will help with the Flyer stink), Paul Martin, and Zbynek Michalek. I look forward to getting inspired by them, and any other new additions to come. Also, I completely forgot to name one after Alex Goligoski! I'll be fixing that next season.

While you wait and bite your nails, maybe you'd like a drink. This milkshake is nice and cold while it's hot outside, but uses good autumn-y flavors.

Taste of Hockey Season

1 scoop black walnut ice cream (butter pecan will do if you have to)
2 ounces bourbon
1 ounce milk
1 tablespoon pure maple syrup (maple/agave blend is a cheaper substitute)

Pour all ingredients into blender; blend until everything's mixed. Pour into a glass and drink immediately.

This one is perhaps a bit better for you, but it's cool and tasty and has an excellent green color.

Summer Street Hockey

1/2 cucumber, peeled
1 cup honeydew melon, in chunks
2 ounces light/white rum
1 ounce Midori melon liqueur
Handful of ice cubes

Blend all ingredients in blender until everything's the same consistency. Pour and drink immediately.

The Trade Rumor Tamer

Just because hockey is over for the summer doesn't mean it's ever really, you know, *over*. We've been through the drafts, and now we have trades and impending free agency. My Twitter feed (@greeneyedlilo, if you're interested) and RSS feed have been bristling with rumors, what-ifs, and the attendant arguments about them. I'm sure yours have, too. My favorites are the ones about the Pittsburgh Penguins getting Dan Hamhuis and the squillionth Colby's-coming-back rumor. And if Marc Staal's really not happy with the New York Rangers, maybe he'd like it better in Pittsburgh with his brother...?

Whatever happens, July 1st is bearing down on us, and you're gonna want something to numb the pain a little bit. You'll also want something to cool you off in this hot weather.

Here it is. I got the idea for the flavor combination from the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck, whose owner is full of amazing ideas for things to do with ice cream. (Bananas pureed with Valrhona chocolate on top, anyone?) Yesterday, he suggested vanilla ice cream topped with peppermint syrup and cacao nibs for sweltering New Yorkers. I decided I wanted to try this at home, but use peppermint schnapps instead of syrup and run it through my blender. He compared his sundae to a York Peppermint Patty. Drinking this milkshake, I get the sensation that the heat and rumors will soon leave us, hockey will eventually come back, and one way or another, Ray Shero's gonna put together a winning Penguins team for the 2010-11 season.

The Trade Rumor Tamer

1 1/2 tablespoons cacao nibs
1 scoop vanilla ice cream
1 ounce milk
2 ounces peppermint schnapps

Pour all ingredients into a blender; blend until everything's mixed. It should look like a chocolate chip shake. Pour into a glass and drink immediately.

Note on ingredients: You can find cacao nibs in a health food or gourmet store. If you can't find them/can't afford them/don't like them, dark chocolate chips would probably do just fine.

Carrot Top on a Dare

MouthGuard, a frequent reader/commenter, dared me to make a drink and name it "Carrot Top" in, um, honor of the Philadelphia Flyers' Scott Hartnell. Since I am superstitious enough to make Sidney Crosby shake his head and say "Damn, girl," or whatever they say in Nova Scotia, there was no way in hell I'd try it until the Stanley Cup was safely in the Chicago Blackhawks' hands. (Anything but a Flyers win, was my philosophy.) I tend to Google recipe ideas so nobody can come here and tell me that, for example, the drink I named after Brooks Orpik was first created by Pierre McGuire, named "Leadership," and has been served in Philadelphia's best sports bar for years. Turns out there's already a cocktail called Carrot Top. I'm sure it's fine, but I had other ideas.

The "carrot" made me think of something that would taste like carrot cake in a glass. This cocktail purports to do that, but you'll see that something crucial is missing--namely, carrot. So I started with carrot juice. Also, I wanted to do something with Absolut Brooklyn, which is flavored with red apple and ginger. Frankly, I'd have liked it better in the fall and don't think there's anything particularly "Brooklyn" about this flavor combination, but it's good.

I came up with this. The Frangelico adds a bit of nuttiness and creaminess. Though it's martini-sized and worked nicely in a martini glass, I don't think it qualifies as a martini. My cocktail mentor sure wouldn't think so. Whatever it is, it matches Scott Hartnell's hair and his team's uniforms, but isn't nearly as repulsive as the Flyers organization or most of its players. Since it's the off-season, I'd even serve Hartnell one if he could swear he understands that Penguins are opponents, not food.

Carrot Top

2 ounces carrot juice
2 ounces Absolut Brooklyn vodka
1 ounce Frangelico
Dash or two of cinnamon
Cinnamon sugar to rim the glass

Combine all ingredients except cinnamon sugar in a cocktail shaker with 2 or 3 ice cubes. Shake thoroughly. Place cinnamon sugar on a plate; moisten the rim of a martini glass with water. Dip rim of glass into cinnamon sugar to coat. Strain liquid into martini glass.

Note on ingredients: I don't like to specify brands if I can avoid it--nobody's paying me to advertise for them and I don't want any perception that I am unless the company is actually delivering product to my home. However, I don't think any adequate substitutes for the liquors mentioned here exist.

SCF10

Just because the Penguins' season is over doesn't mean the NHL season is over. Like me, many of you have probably decided that you may as well keep watching and see who wins the Stanley Cup. I knew the Chicago Blackhawks versus the Philadelphia Flyers was going to be difficult to watch. Game 1 last night proved me absolutely correct. NBC was at least considerate enough to bring in Ryan Miller as a commentator to balance the Flyers' collective ugliness. But as both goalies became sieves, the teams traded leads, and Scott Fucking Hartnell* scored, that wasn't quite enough.

When NBC broadcasted Penguins games during the regular season, I responded by posting recipes for blender drinks, mostly high-octane. The cocktails I post here are meant to be quick beer alternatives that can be fixed during intermission or right before the game. But nobody minds if one runs the blender while Pierre McGuire or Mike Milbury are talking, right?

A favorite high-octane drink of mine is the classic Zombie, which I based Salvaging the Game on during a particularly miserable game against the Vancouver Canucks. It certainly seemed appropriate for suffering through this series. However, I also wanted something cold and slushy. Also, I didn't want to track down a bottle of apricot brandy which I'd have to blow the dust off of before I could open it. Also, I had, as usual, lots of good fresh fruit and half a bottle of bourbon in the house . So I tweaked the basic recipe once again and made a...zombie-rita? Zombie-quiri? Either way, it's gonna get me through the rest of this horrid series just fine. The name reflects the reason to drink it.

SCF10

1 apricot, peeled and seeded
1/2 cup cubed pineapple, fresh or canned
2 ounces orange juice
2 ounces light rum
1 1/2 ounces dark rum
1 1/2 ounces bourbon
1/2 ounce Bacardi 151 (or other 151-proof) rum
2 handfuls of ice

Put the fruit and juice into the blender with 1 handful of ice; blend for about 15 seconds. Add all the liquor, excpt for the 151-proof rum, and the other handful of ice. Blend another 15 seconds. Pour into a tall glass. Float the 151-proof rum on top. Take a sip whenever a Flyer scores or NBC *sniff, sniff, sob* shows footage of Sidney Crosby hoisting the Cup.

* Isn't it amazing how, despite their varied ethnicities, Scott Hartnell shares a middle name with Chris Pronger, Alex Ovechkin, Martin Brodeur, Jimmie Johnson, and Carl Edwards?

Cleaning out the Lockers--the Ukraine Train

I wish I had more to say about Alexei Ponikarovsky and Ruslan Fedotenko. Really, I do. If either or both come back, I look forward to the opportunity to get to know them well. If not, well, safe travels.

Watermelons and cucumbers are some of my favorite things about summer, and it's gonna be a long one. The watermelon one's named after Fedotenko 'cause it matches his cheeks.

Tenk Top Margarita

1 cup cubed, seeded watermelon
1 1/2 ounces gold tequila
1 ounce triple sec
1 teaspoon lime juice
Handful of ice

Blend all ingredients in a blender until good and slushy. Pour into a chilled margarita glass.

Pittsburgh Poni Daiquiri

1 cucumber, peeled and sliced
1 1/2 ounces vodka
Handful of mint leaves
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon lime juice
Handful of ice

Blend all ingredients in a blender. Serve in a tall glass.